Over the past five years, the concert climate has undergone a bigger overhaul than Michael Jackson’s nose and, in this columnist’s opinion, sucked the life and energy out of the touring industry. And one corporation’s name keeps on coming up as the evil empire of this travesty, Clear Channel.

Now, now, Detroit, this article isn’t going to be solely about Clear Channel’s monopoly over the music industry, but how the concert industry as a whole has seen ticket prices skyrocket in a short time, and the reasons for it. From here on out, the use of the word Clear Channel will be used sparingly, mainly so I don’t hear babbling fools tell me about how “corporations are good for people.” But, if you know me, you know how much I loooove good ‘ol CC.

In my calculations, the average lawn ticket at DTE Energy Sellout Music Theatre now hovers around $31 per ticket, whereas in 1999 (when this columnist was an employee), that number was closer to $22 a ticket. How does an average ticket price rise quicker than Marlon Brando’s weight in only five years? How does an average ticket rise nearly 35 percent in five years? Don’t give me that inflation crap either; inflation only goes up 4-5 percent a year, at most. Somehow, the ordinary person is getting screwed and the ticket receipts are now starting to show dismal signals.

This week I was looking at shows that I would have attended anywhere from 3 to 5 years ago and how things have changed. Here are some examples.

Exhibit #1: OzzFest 1999 Lawn Ticket: $39.50
OzzFest 2004 Lawn Ticket: $58.25

Exhibit #2: 3 Doors Down/ Nickelback 2001 Lawn Ticket: $18
Nickelback/ 3 Doors Down 2004 Lawn Ticket: $28

Exhibit #3: Lollapalooza 1997 All Day Lawn Ticket: $35
Lollapalooza 2003 All Day Lawn Ticket: $56

Forgive me, you couldn’t pay me 700 dollars to watch 3 Doors Down headline a show, but these figures are startling. To watch OzzFest go up nearly 20 dollars in five years, nearly a 50 percent increase, is downright appalling to the kids and adults who pay good money for the show.

Honestly, what has changed about the shows over the years? Let’s face it, not a whole hell of a lot. Just a lot more sponsor plugs and FYE hands out their $25 CDs after events, which they know no one in their right mind is going to buy.

Believe me, it is not just Clear Channel duping the people into paying that much, but this company has put nearly every regional concert promoter out of business.

Remember Cellar Door Productions? Nope, as dead as Tori Spelling’s career. What about House of Blues? They’re hanging on by dear life.

Just like in the radio industry, Clear Channel has created another near monopoly and has obtained right to charge whatever they want. But they do compensate sometimes; I will give them that. They do occasionally sell some lawn tickets at $10, I would like to know the exact number for sure, and do have sales like the recent $20 price for many slow selling concerts at DTE and the Palace. So, Clear Channel, you have me off your back slightly, but I still don’t like you.

Oh, not so fast Ticketmaster! Don’t think you are getting away that easy. You jackasses charge anywhere from 5 dollars in person, 9 dollars for an online order, and 12 dollars for a phone order PER TICKET in service charges. Yeah, that makes things real affordable. Believe me, it’s convenient to by tickets online, but they’re still ripping people off left and right.

The summer of 2004 has brought many cancelled tours, from Christina Aguilera to Lollapalooza, and concert ticket prices and low turnout and sales have been a big factor in that. Who wants to spend 100 bucks to watch Eddie Van Halen’s and his bad hip do solos? I would like to say that I’d watch that show for 50 bucks, maybe. But I am one of the suckers who paid nearly 85 bucks to sit in the 2nd row of the upper bowl at Joe Louis Arena this Saturday.

So what can I say? I admit it. I am as guilty as everyone else. I pay these prices to see these artists and I haven’t taken a stand. All I can do it bitch and complain like anyone else. Maybe these companies will get the point when they start losing their ass on these tours and are forced to lower ticket prices to somewhat reasonable rates.

Sure, and David Lee Roth and Sammy Hagar are going to be co-lead singers with Van Halen next summer.

Art Michalski is a whiny advocate for the people and wants to really see Clear Channel burn in hell; lives for Ticketmaster Online, and is probably their #1 customer. If Tori Spelling does or doesn’t look like a horse and prefers Van Roth over Van Hagar, please e-mail him with your love at arthatesyou@detroitbuzz.com.