I was just looking for a little good, old fashioned writing inspiration this week, which I struggled with all throughout the weekend. But before I went out to the Deftones’ “Saturday Night Wrist” tour the other night (which turned into the “Monday Night Brawl” at Clutch Cargos) I found my inspiration in the form of a Christmas CD, of all things.

No, not a Mannheim Streamroller Christmas CD, or not even those ex-metal guys calling themselves the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. I am talking about something I found so shocking I almost lost control of all bodily fluids. I saw a Billy Idol Christmas CD.

I am NOT kidding you; remember the guy that had the famous sneer, wailed out “White Wedding” and “Rebel Yell”? Yep, that’s the same guy who is singing Christmas standards like “Silent Night” now. And Idol is putting his 80’s-punk-rock-pop spin on things either; he is really selling this Christmas crap for all its worth. He is singing “Jingle Bells” like he’s Bing Crosby, and obviously sacrificing all remaining credibility that he had left (not that there was much anyways).

You might ask yourself, what possesses someone to forgo their last shreds of musical dignity in order to make a damn Christmas CD? It all comes down to the almighty dollar. Have you seen how these Holiday CD’s sell these days? It is alarming and appalling at the same time. From the middle part of November through December 25th, don’t expect albums like Jay-Z’s latest to rule the charts. Instead, you can see holiday albums by Sarah McLachlan and Bette Midler take spots where much more popular artists usually reside.

Even the people previously mentioned probably don’t make these records because it was next on their agenda; they make it for a quick buck, and to appeal to those people who sort of like them already, and wouldn’t mind listening to sappy carols sung by them. Any self-respecting artist would think twice before doing something like this.

And the sad thing is that Billy Idol’s Christmas CD isn’t the most surprising holiday album out this year. Just look through your local music store’s holiday section, and you’ll find CD’s by washed up artists like “A Twisted Sister Christmas” (with probable song titles like “We’re Not Gonna Take Another Present”) and even a Christmas CD from Sisqo. Yep, this one’s probably called “The Christmas Thong Song” or something like that. The Barenaked Ladies even have a Hannuakah EP out. Are any of them even Jewish?

Even well-respected indie and big name artists like indie fave Sufjan Stevens and alt-rock superstars the Killers now have Christmas singles out. When is this madness going to stop? Is Metallica going to be so bored in a couple of years that I hear Christmas music from them? That might be something my young and little heart may not be able to take.

If I was up on Santa Claus’ lap right now; I would ask for a lot of things. But one thing I would make certainly clear that I want to take a time travel machine to January 2007, where I don’t have to hear grown men and women embarrass themselves by putting out holiday music.

Bah Humbug! I'm a mean one Mr. Grinch.

Don't send me Christmas wishes at arthatesyou@detroitbuzz.com