ART THINKS:

• Outkast’s new album is not as good as advertised.
• The Strokes are STILL over-rated.
• Justin Timberlake got lucky. I am holding out for the Chris Kirkpatrick solo album.
• Hilary Duff should never,ever,ever,ever,ever pick up a microphone again, ever.
• Beyonce Knowles (I don’t know why people refer to her only by her first name) is not hot.
• MTV2 did the right thing in bringing back Headbangers Ball.
• MTV did the wrong thing in… wait, they do everything wrong.
• Ludacris’ “Chicken & Beer” is the best album title EVER, but a so-so album. Bruce Willis’ “Return Of Bruno” came in a close second (but that album really did suck).
• Creed should go away forever, and take 3 Doors Down with ‘em.
• Ozzy should retire: When you urinate on yourself every time you talk, its time to hang it up.
• The new Limp Bizkit album inspires me to lie about having sex with Britney Spears too.
• Audioslave is good, but I would rather see a Rage Against The Machine & Soundgarden comeback.
• Kurt Cobain and Tupac Shakur probably aren’t coming back.
• Lil’ Jon & The Eastside Boys need to “Get Low” and find a dentist; Their teeth look as bad as a 12 year old Rottweiler’s.
• I wouldn’t touch Christina Aguilera with a ten foot pole.
• I would touch Jessica Simpson with a ten foot pole.
• Jennifer Lopez could die in a fiery movie set and I still wouldn’t buy anything she has ever made.
• Missy Elliot lost weight but there is a treatment for just being ugly?
• I would never accept milk and cookies from Michael Jackson.
• Guns n Roses will release their album in May; May 2019 that is.
• And finally, the Darkness is this year’s Great Rock Hope!

Art Michalski still thinks Paris Hilton is a skank and thinks he has a legitimate shot at being the future ex-Mr. Britney Spears (he’s hoping he can get some palimony payments out of it). If you hate him already (and you probably do), please e-mail him at arthatesyou@detroitbuzz.com