Yesterday, I walked across the Golden Gate Bridge for the first time. I’ve traveled across the landmark many times on my bicycle, but yesterday was my first time crossing the span on foot. As always, I was surprised to see the myriad facets of a place that are all but invisible when cycling. While I’m on my bike, the only things I’m looking for are the countless hazards that make cycling so interesting.

And so it was that I was surprised to see small booths offering “free euthanasia counseling” at either end of the bridge. Byron, a cheerful volunteer staffing the north kiosk, asked me if I’d like a free euthanasia coupon. He seemed a little disappointed when I told him I wasn’t interested at the moment; I suspect he had a quota to fill.

Since business was slow, Byron was kind enough to explain that the San Francisco Visitors and Convention Bureau sponsored the euthanasia booths. Apparently, the hundreds of people jumping to their deaths off the bridge haven’t been good for business, hence the free euthanasia program.

I thanked Byron for his tedious economic arguments, and then turned to leave. That’s when he asked me how long it took to hit the water after jumping.

“Four seconds,” Byron announced without waiting for a response. “And you know what kills ’em?”

“Let me guess,” I replied. “Does it have something to do with water?”

I don’t think Byron heard my answer. Without a pause, he explained that a human body hitting the water at well over a hundred kilometers an hour stopped almost immediately. Said body’s internal organs, however, continued traveling at great speed. Byron said his friends in the Coast Guard, charged with recovering the jumpers’ bodies, reported more than one “floater” with intestines hanging from the mouth.

I enjoyed talking with Byron; it’s not often that I run into someone who really enjoys their work.