This weekend was a typical Miss Single weekend – running errands and going to parties. Saturday was my friend Elaina’s birthday and she had a small gathering of friends at her apartment. The latest man (an architect this time) and I arrived to find my good friends Jamie and Jason already there. The welcome was very warm – I wished the birthday girl a very happy birthday and then was ushered into the kitchen for drinks. They even had a bartender – an extremely friendly and smiling Latino man named Fabio. Fabio made me a killer Tanqueray martini and I was ready to relax and enjoy my evening.

Something that I should say about this party is that there were mostly couples there. Couples and single guys. I don’t think that there was a girl without a date at the party. Eh. These things happen. I’ve found that this usually provides the best atmosphere for polling people about topics for my next blogs – usually in the form of Would You Rather questions.

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this in any of my other entries, but I’m also a complete and utter klutz. I trip and fall a lot. I knock stuff over all the time. I’m not graceful and I’m extremely animated – not a good combination. This has a tendency to get me into trouble at parties.

This Saturday, while Jamie was keeping me company in the kitchen after I accidentally flung my martini across the room and shattered the glass, I started thinking about general identity vs. sexual identity. Fabio, being the good bartender that he is, was in the process of fixing me another martini (this time in a plastic cup) and couldn’t help but overhear us in our conversation. Fabio told us that he would never give up his own personal identity (which we defined as that which makes you different from everyone else) even if it caused him to completely lose his sexual identity. He argued that no matter what you may not have in this world, if you have your identity, you will always have that which makes you unique and that is what defines you.

Wow. Okay – I know that’s not such a major in-depth conversation, but you must realize how blown away I was by this statement! AND – the conversation continued! We must have talked for a good while in the kitchen while he was making my martini – and we continued to talk even after my martini was made. I just couldn’t understand it – here was a man – a man who knows how to make a killer martini, talking with two girls – one of whom is married and the other walked in with a good looking and successful architect… and he was still talking to us even after he realized that he would not be getting any play from us! I couldn’t help but bring this to his attention!

Fabio’s response: “Honey, that’s because I’m gay.”

Of course.

Martini – 1 Miss Single – 0

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