The Story of A Trench Coat, A Photographer, and Two Cups of Coffee.

Ever since I was a child, I've been horrible with surprises. I can't keep a surprise a secret. I get freaked out whenever surprises come my way. I think it's because I'm a Taurus - I'm just a very grounded person. Who knows?! The past boyfriends in my life have always made me want to be spontaneous. I love the idea of spontaneity in theory, but in practice, I'm horrible at it. Granted, that doesn't mean that I won't drop everything next weekend for an impromptu trip to Vegas... but I'll still spend a guaranteed six hours or so calling friends and theaters to prepare for a weekend without a hotel room. It's just who I am.

On the relationship front, things have been progressing along rather nicely with Mr. Photographer. So far, I've had two photo shoots - one that began naked, the other that ended naked. Gentlemen, I have to admit - if you ever have inkling of an artistic idea in your life, project it on a woman. Find yourself a muse... and the sex is practically guaranteed. No joke. I can't believe how easily this guy makes me weak in the knees by just loading his camera. The fact that he makes me gasp and grasp doesn't hurt, either. And, I like the fact that he has to go out of town to New York a couple times a month for either work or for a show.

Last Friday evening, like any self-respecting Detroit gal, I decided to monopolize on the $2 Labatts special at Delilah's with a good friend, and somehow the evening turned into a party. Because of the nice weather, the windows to the bar were wide open and we ended up seeing other friends walking by. Soon our little gathering of 2 grew to a small party... and too many Labatts. It was at this time that I decided to give spontaneity another chance! I was going to prepare a welcome home surprise for the Photographer who had been in New York for a photo show of his. I said my good-byes to the homies and headed off into the night to prepare for the surprise.

Preparing for a surprise takes a lot of effort. There's always at least three phone calls involved and at least a couple of “herbal encounters”, especially if it's to be an early morning surprise, which this was. I hopped in the tub and got myself all nice and clean for Mr. Photographer. After making sure that my legs were nice and smooth, I picked out my favorite pair of knee high black boots and threw on my bright yellow trench coat. Armed with two coffees and some major attitude, I hopped in the car and drove down to Chicago Midway Airport. The way that I looked at it, I had just enough time to surprise the Photographer with coffee and me wearing only a trench coat and still make it to my morning shift at the cafe by 9:30am.

After waiting for about 45 minutes, I decided to call ATA and see what the problem was. The flight was delayed and wasn't scheduled to arrive in Chicago until 9:45am. Well, isn’t that just a mood killer? At this point, I was done. I was so bummed out that I didn't even have the desire to seduce a pilot. I've learned my lesson. From now on, I'm going to warn people if I'm thinking of picking them up after a long journey practically naked and highly caffeinated.

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