As I was writing my column this week, I began to pen a tribute to the fallen Detroit rapper Proof. I realized halfway through it that it wasn’t genuine, and I tried to show compassion, when it really wasn’t there. So, I mercifully sacked the article and decided to work on something new.

So, here I am... back to making the usual moronic statements that have made me the envy (and scourge) of Detroit Buzz. So, after bagging the Proof article, I was sitting up one night before passing out; and I thought of ten questions that will hopefully be answered in my lifetime. If you really think these questions are about something as important as the rising gas prices, or the nuclear program in Iran, guess again (I only think about those during the 6 o'clock news).

Some of the type of entertainment questions that leave a burning impression (and slight itching sensation) are the following; perhaps some of you have the same questions:

• How will the new Tool single, “Vicarious”, sound?: Expect something moody and dark. That’s a safe bet. I haven’t been listening to this band for the past 13 years for them to put some 180 degree turn, and sound like the Ying Yang Twins. Maynard, don’t disappoint us!
• What CD is my player right now?: The Sword’s “Age Of Winters”. If you are into a throwback sound of Black Sabbath, mixed with Kyuss, this is your band. I missed the show at the Belmont in Hamtramck last week, but I’m sure this was the beginning of something big.
• When the hell is “Entourage” coming back on? I found this one out, June 11th is the date. I am glad “The Sopranos” is better this year, but I think it’s not the best show on HBO anymore. Plus, you mean I am gonna have to sit through “Big Love” for the next two months? Makes me want to marry three women, and have them nag at me all day…
• Are Alice in Chains getting back together for summer shows?: They are, but with a new lead singer. You see how well that Queen reunion tour with Paul Rodgers worked out… That one barely even made a blip on the radar, and that was Queen. People may be interested, but I don’t expect it to make me forget Layne Staley (and his heroin habit).
• Did Britney really let her baby take a tumble at their home?: This one’s real simple; she heard “Popozao” and went into convulsions. From there, the convulsions from the song caused her to knock over the high chair, sending her kid falling. But I don’t blame the kid for falling either. So, it’s yet another reason to blame K-Fed!
• Why can’t I get these damn Panic! At The Disco songs out of my head? Do I hang out at Hollister? Do I flip the collar of my pink polo up? Of course not, but the band’s songs are catchy. If you don’t think so, just listen to “The Only Difference”. You’ll be humming along too…
• Will Barry Bonds get a break? No, no, and hell no! And it’s not because he hits the ‘roids more than I hit rock bottom. It’s not because of his race, even though he would like to make you believe that. It’s because he’s an a—hole, who’s never treated anyone with an ounce of respect since he’s been playing baseball. He’s a spoiled brat who is pissing on the legacy of his father and uncle (Willie Mays). Barry, just retire now…
• Will the Pistons and Red Wings take it all this year?: If the Red Wings don’t win; I wont shed a tear. I’m not a hockey fan, but I know a lot of people here are. As far as the Pistons go, I will burn a couch and riot in the streets if they don’t win. But I get a feeling one, if not both teams will give Detroit a summer to remember.
• Why does this song make me question that there is a God? If God cared about entertainment, he would rise once again and strike down James Blunt for “You’re Beautiful”, and Daniel Powter for “Bad Day”. These songs are boring drivel that seems to have people around me cranking it up at work. I swear, I’m blasting Slayer in my office tomorrow if I hear either of those crappy songs one more time!
• Did Proof shoot first? Listen, I am not even getting into the middle of an impending rap war in Detroit. So, rest in peace Proof; and everybody else, watch your back….