That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, it’s Super Bowl weekend and I’m f’ing psyched - Super Bowl XL and in The D no less. I’m over 400 miles away from the action and I can still feel the energy in my veins. I feel like I need to get all bundled up and go watch some dog sledding downtown! I want to ride a snow slide! I want to dance the streets! I want to drink copious amounts of Canadian beer! I want to shout from the rooftops, SUPER BOWL XL!!! This Super Bowl, I’m getting a piggy back ride from someone at a bar. I’m not sure which bar or who the lucky contestant will be, but be forewarned. Remember, people, there ain’t no party like a Detroit party cuz a Detroit party don’t stop! B’kay!

For those avid readers who have been with me since the beginnings of my blog, you are all fully aware that I love sports. I don’t follow them too much, but I love the whole aspect of sports. Especially big games with teams I have some loyalty to! I really wanted this Super Bowl to be a Super Bowl of the Blue Collars. I wanted the Chicago Bears to play a good game against the Pittsburgh Steelers. I wanted people to come to Detroit who wouldn’t think that it’s a top-class shithole, as the f’wads from Denver often do during hockey playoffs. Unfortunately my dream of a Bears/Steelers game never came to fruition (that’s okay, I grew up cheering for the Lions, so I’m used to disappointment). So, now I want the Steelers to whomp those nambypanseys from Seattle and show them what steel work is all about!

This is also my good friend Rebecca’s birthday weekend and I couldn’t be more thrilled! Becky’s birthday has now become the reason and mission of the pre-party. The big party is on Sunday, but let’s just see if we can top it with the 3-day pre-party Birthday Bash! Besides, what better way to round out a birthday weekend, than with SUPER BOWL XL. HELL YEAH! HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

Last night was the kickoff for Rebecca’s birthday bash. All us ladies had sushi and sake at Tank (the veggie tempura rolls are delish!) and then trekked up to our usual German haunt. At the German bar, after I think our 3rd or 4th round of drinks, a guy from a neighboring table approached us. (Before, I continue - You know how there are “Ladies Who Lunch’? Well, we’re “Ladies Who Drink”. We drink and we talk… a lot. And we’re not very quiet about any of it.) At the time, we had two different loud conversations going on. The guy stopped both of the conversations and tried to edge his way into our table. He even pulled up a chair. Then his friend came over. Here are the highlights of the conversations between the Ladies and the dudes:

Dudes: “Where are you ladies from?”
Ladies: “Topeka, Kansas.”

Dudes: “What are you talking about?”
Ladies: “Death and Destruction.”

Dude: “I work at the Hopleaf.”
Miss Single USA: “That place is alright, but I hate their menu.”
Dude: “I’m the chef.”

Dudes, if you get your self into this situation, I have one suggestion for you: BAIL! I thought this was common knowledge. If a group of girls say they’re from Topeka, Kansas, they’re lying to you. If they say they’re talking about “Death and Destruction,” they want to be left alone. If I insult your position at your place of employment, have some dignity and leave! I mean, f*&^, how desperate are you?! Desperation is not attractive! And do not use the fact that you and your friends have the same name as two of the apostles as a pick up line! That’s just f--king idiotic. And you know what, Matt and John? Chicks really don’t dig idiots. Basically, these guys crashed and burned, and then continued to burn and explode, and then continued to stink up the place with burning rubber and oil. Guys, if chicks are bitches to you, even drunk chicks, LEAVE! They will have more respect for you and you’ll maintain at least an ounce of dignity in case you run into them again.

Maybe it was our fault. Maybe us Ladies Who Drink are just too sweet and nice. But come on! These guys didn’t even offer to buy us drinks in order to soften us up!

I think that this is an important lesson for all you dudes reading this blog, especially since you will more than likely encounter similar Ladies Who Drink this weekend at a Super Bowl party. (DETROIT WHAT?!) If the Ladies are having a good time and if said good time seems to wane after you approach, please back away. It’s for the best. You’ll have a better time and you won’t ruin the Ladies’ time either. Then if a team scores a touchdown and the Ladies are pleased with the touchdown, approach again with a big smile and ask the redhead if she want a piggy back ride. This might be the only interaction you will have with the Ladies all evening, so hope for a high scoring game – hopefully they’ll ride you all night long.

Go Pittsburgh!

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