Welcome to Detroit! We know that a lot of you are stuck here for an extra day or two and might be wondering, "Now that the game is over, what is there to do here?" Here are some things to consider when looking for action in our fair city.

As your tour guide, I would like to tell you about the ins and outs of the city. We want you to come back, and not talk about our city in a negative light. Only WE, as locals, are allowed to do that. So, without further ado, here is your tour of Detroit:

1. First off - get the bashing out of your system: If all you’re gonna do is talk s--- about Detroit, the locals will grow tired of it real quick. If you are at a bar, complaining about how cold and miserable it is; the bartender is likely to spit in your next drink. If you are from New York, New Orleans or Los Angeles or other big cities; you have your own crime and troubles, just like anywhere. We don’t get hurricanes, earthquakes and “Sopranos wannabes”. So, snow and cold is our biggest issue. Seems a fair tradeoff to us.
2. More than a lot of other places, the name “Detroit” refers to a larger area than the city itself. We live, work, shop and play in a sprawled out metropolis that often doesn’t include the city center. There are close to 5 million people in the Southeastern Michigan area that for better or worse are considered Detroiters by the rest of the world. While there are some who distance themselves from the city, there are many, many more who have deep roots here who wear their Detroiter badges with pride and honor. You can take the boy out of Dee-troit, but don’t try and take the Dee-troit out of the boy!
3. Get a rental car: It's the only way to get around in this sprawling metropolis. Unless you are staying at the six hotels downtown, you will be staying in Livonia, Dearborn, Southfield, or Troy. All are respectable suburbs, with plenty of places to eat and shop. Make sure you get the extra insurance from your rental car company, because the roads are hell, and you might hit a pothole or two, or three…
4. There is some shopping downtown; but not much. Compuware is developing shops around their building in the Campus Martius area, but a Borders, Hard Rock Café, Jimmy John’s and CVS are a long way from Michigan Avenue in Chicago. If you want to go shopping, go to Somerset Collection in Troy, or Twelve Oaks out in Novi. If the mall experience isn't your thing, consider driving to Royal Oak or Ann Arbor. Both have lots of unique shops at the high and low end. You have to drive to get there, but both are pleasant walk-around cities and communities.
5. Don’t ask us how the auto industry is doing: We all know it sucked two years ago, it sucks now, and it will probably suck two years from now. Next statement….
6. Don’t ask us how we feel about Eminem and Kim Mathers’ marriage: We feel the same way as you: Eminem is out of his mind…
7. Greektown is a good starting point for downtown: Casinos, restaurants and for the guys, Bouzouki’s. For men coming down to Detroit, it’s all most will need for a fun weekend….
8. Windsor is cool, but may be overhyped. Yes, you can get Cuban cigars, maybe try to score some pot, and watch fully naked women at one of many establishments in Windsor. Here’s the reality of Windsor:
   1. The exchange rate is awful, not much incentive to cross the border…
   2. There are “massage parlors” on the main strip of Windsor, not brothels.
   3. I have never seen pot dealers or hash bars in Windsor.
   4. Lap dances are weak, at best. If you want a good one, go to an 8 Mile club.
   5. When you come back over the border, don’t tell them you went to the “Windsor Ballet”. Customs will search you like you are making nuclear weapons in Iran.
   
   
9. The Pistons are better than your NBA team. No exceptions.
10. Your NFL team is better than ours. No exceptions. Not even you, Houston.

Most of all, have a good time. There really are a lot of fabulous things to do in the area and the people are good hearted. Hopefully you will have a great experience, have decent things to say about our home and come back later to see what else the region has to offer.

So, when you finally do fly out of the frozen February tundra of Detroit, remember how hard we worked at it and how good it was. We hoe and expect to see you back real soon.

Welcome to Detroit!