Dear Miss Single,

Some of my friends and I were wondering if you could help us out with some advice. I live in Detroit and have a full time job as a mechanical engineer, stable career with a little bit of money in the bank, and I think slightly above average attractiveness. My girlfriend of three years and I broke up almost a year ago, and except for an inebriated encounter with a co-worker after a work Christmas party, I haven't really found a connection with anyone. I go out a couple of nights a week with friends, and we have a great time hanging out, but I just don't seem to be able to meet women very well. It seems like I just get tongue tied, and don't know what to say to introduce myself to random people at the bar. Am I looking in the wrong place? You are a woman, what do women want to hear? What should I say when I meet someone to strike up a conversation? Somehow cheesy pickup lines make me shudder, and some of my friends have the same problem.

Finding a girl after a long-term relationship is going to be rough, as I told my questioner from last week. It takes time for some people to get back in the game. Also, after being in a relationship for so long, you might start to realize that the singles life that you had pre-relationship has changed quite a bit. I think you need to ask yourself what exactly you’re looking for before you start to wonder whether or not you’re looking in the right place. Are you looking for just a nice piece, or are you looking for a nice piece to be in a relationship with?

As for looking in the wrong place, I doubt that you are – unless you’re going to bachelorette infested booty bars. Basically, what I try to tell people is that if you’re cool to a girl, then she’ll be cool back to you. What type of girl are you looking for? I haven’t been on the scene in Detroit in a while, but my 2 favorite places were Gusoline Alley in Royal Oak (they had such a kick ass jukebox) and the Majestic Café. As I’ve told other readers, a good place to meet girls is always at a live show because you immediately have something in common – you both like the same band. I personally think that independent bookstores are great places to meet chicks – specifically the girls who work there – they are usually more knowledgeable and open-minded than girls who work at one of the larger chain bookstores. Go to a small, independent bookstore/café, pick up a book, and then ask one of the cute girls working there about it. Or go in and ask for a book suggestion. Bookstores are highly underrated as places to meet people. Besides, wouldn’t it be nice to meet a neo-librarian/sex-kitten who can teach you a few things about the writings of Pauline Reage?

Now, heres a serious question for you, do you know how to flirt with a girl? For example, when a female friend leans into you, do you automatically put your arm around her? Maybe give her a squeeze and lift her up off the floor? Chicks like romantic guys, but they also like guys who they can have fun with. When you’re out and about, do you and your friends genuinely look like you’re having a good time, or do you look like you’re out scoping for chicks? You’re not going to find girls if you look like you’re on the prowl. You don’t have to use cheesy pick-up lines to hit on a girl – you can use straight-up honesty. For example, you see a girl who is out with her friends and she seems like she’s having fun – throw her a couple looks and see if she catches your eye at all. If she doesn’t catch your glance, then give up on her for the night. If she does catch your glance, try to move closer to her. Eavesdrop on her conversation then say something like, “I apologize for eavesdropping, but I have to butt in…” and then invite yourself into the conversation. If you’re not a weirdo creepy guy, which you don’t necessarily seem to be, then act naturally and see what happens. Always go out with the idea that you’re not going to get any action – you’re just out to enjoy yourself with your friends.

Here are some more tips:

Keep your personal issues personal. Don’t tell a girl straight off the bat that you were in a 3-year relationship and that you really need to get laid. Chicks find that kinda creepy.

Look for the girls who smile a lot. They are either friendly or drunk or both. Either way, they’re more likely to talk to you.

Do you know how to dance? If not, take a lesson or two. Dancing is hot.

Always have good music in your car.

If you do meet a girl one night, instead of inviting her back to your place for some sweet bangin’, invite her out to get a Coney or something. Then you’ll both have full tummies with less chance for a hangover – and she’ll go home with you thinking that you’re a lot of fun and that she’ll want to see you again.

Go for girls who are not with a group of 20 friends.

Don’t be afraid to invite girls to another bar with you. If you’re at a place and it’s lame, look for a girl who also looks like she also thinks the place is lame and try to convince her and her friends to go to a different bar with you and your friends.

Most of all, my friend, remember that you’re going out to have fun and you need to focus on having fun. I don’t know if it’s the same with guys, but I tend to get more date offers when I decide that I am not out looking for dates. You’ll be more relaxed and will probably enjoy yourself more. Now, go out there and get ‘em, tiger!

ROAR!!!

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