Miss Single USA is a transplanted Detroiter, writing to us from the Windy City. Send her your dating questions, comments, rants or come ons at missroseusa@gmail.com)

I just get so fed up with dudes sometimes. Seriously, I don’t think they catch on at all. I know that we’ve all been there, ladies. We meet someone and we think – wow, this person seems to be really awesome. He is good looking. He makes me laugh. He answers my “would you rather” questions almost seriously. He is smart and I generally really like him. We start to think that it’s time to take the relationship from just “hanging out” to actually dating and enjoying each other’s company.

It’s not necessarily a conscious choice all the time – sometimes things just evolve. Once I think that this guy is absolutely awesome and couldn’t possibly be any better, I like to step back and see if the potential date material fits my three qualifications for dating. It’s my way of checking into reality. These are just little qualifications that I know will drive me absolutely crazy (not in a good way) if they are not met.

Dudes – pay attention please.

Qualification #1: The guy MUST have a job.

So, things are going great with you and the hottie bassist from the punk band you saw play at the Double Door a couple weeks ago. The guy is so sweet and sensitive and hot and he’s a musician! But, sit back and think – does he actually get paid to be a musician? Does he have something that will supplement his income of free pitchers of long islands at the Mutiny? I really don’t care if the guy is a trustfund baby, I can only respect people if they actually have a job – even if it’s just on a volunteer basis. I need a guy to be able to pay his bills and also show some sense of productivity by contributing to the greater good.

Qualification #2: The guy MUST have a car.

This qualification might stem from the many years I spent growing up and living in the Detroit Metropolitan area, but I have a hard time respecting a man if he doesn’t own a car. It doesn’t even have to be a nice car – it just has to run and the guy has to not mind driving it. I don’t need a boyfriend/chauffeur. I just want someone who can understand my love of cars and who can appreciate the necessity of owning a car. Cars come in handy a lot – especially in the brick ass cold of winter. It doesn’t matter to me if the guy doesn’t drive his car very much, but I like a guy who is able to take care of his own transportation needs. If the guy doesn’t own a car, I’ll still date him if he agrees to take cabs. Unless it’s super convenient, I do not expect a guy to make me ride public transportation on a date. That’s just tacky and doesn’t fit into my lifestyle. Public transportation is for commuting to/from work – not for going out! (Ed. Note. Ahem... maybe DETROIT can get some decent public transportation someday... Somehow a Peoplemover commute doesn't make much sense...)

Qualification #3: The guy MUST have a phone.

Guys, seriously, have a phone. It doesn’t even necessarily have to be a cell phone – just have a phone that works and that doesn’t get shut off. Phones are easy to maintain – you pay the bill and you keep it charged. When you don’t have a phone it is a major nuisance for your friends. I absolutely hate being an inconvenience or a nuisance to people that I care about and I have a hard time maintaining respect for people who choose to be that way toward me. If you lose your phone – get a new one. Don’t rely on only your voicemail – that’s just so 1998.

I feel so sorry having to actually spell this out, but most guys just don’t get it. Chicks like it when guys have their stuff together! It’s not a difficult concept to grasp. So, guys, get a job, get your car fixed, and get your phone turned on so that you can give me call. I’m free tomorrow night…

Miss Single USA

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