When you thought it couldn’t get ANY worse, they go out and as Lloyd Christmas of “Dumb and Dumber” fame put it so eloquently, “totally redeem yourself!”

Hollywood is releasing another nostalgia movie. This time, it’s “The Dukes of Hazzard.” But, oh wait, it gets truly worse.

Bo Duke is being portrayed by Steve Stifler, sorry, I refuse to acknowledge people with three-names, so you will forever be Steve Stifler. (I also refuse to acknowledge people who go by their first initial, then their middle name, i.e. C. Thomas Howell.)

Luke Duke is being portrayed by stage veteran Johnny Knoxville of MTV’s “Jackass.” I am assuming Warner Bros. will insist that instead of running away from Rosco P. Coltrane and Enos, Knoxville should ask them to throw golf balls at his scrotum.

Now here is my favorite part, Daisy Duke is being portrayed by the all-time dumbest human being on the planet, Jessica Simpson. Aside from her wonderful “assets” and beautiful cans, I am sure her acting performance will get her at minimum two or three Academy Award nominations.

Now I know nostalgia movies are “hot,” I mean look at how big of a blockbuster “Starsky & Hutch” was! But seriously Hollywood, I like eye-candy movies like the next guy, but for once, will you do something with a little bit of merit? I mean, coming from the guy who has “Caddyshack” listed as his all-time favorite movie, I come to expect a bit more from you guys.

So instead of shelling out $8 a ticket and $12 for soda and popcorn, take that money and send Hollywood a bound script. I am sure if they bought this crap from someone they will sure invest a couple million in your lousy movie too!

Bob Waltenspiel is the quintessential “guy’s guy”. He loves beer, cheese, and beef jerky. Once his 9 to 5 is over, expect to see him at a local brew pub, the Post Bar, or just hanging around town. A born and bred Detroiter, he is your friend, social outlet, and he’s Bob – you can email him at >bob@waltenspiel.com