Wow, it’s the first of November, and I barely even know where I’m at right now. Sorry that I haven’t been around in a few weeks; but my Clark Kent duties have been ruled out, and I haven’t been able to hop in the phone booth to become Super Art too much lately. Hopefully, things will ease up soon, and you will all go back to telling me how much I suck.

Anyway; love him or hate him, The “King of All Media” Howard Stern is due to leave the regular airwaves of FM radio in January... to jump ship to Sirius Satellite Radio. This leaves a gaping hole in the airwaves; and it looks as if there are many people rushing to take Stern’s crown. (Ok, Stern ranks only tenth in Detroit; according to the latest Nielsen ratings. But he IS number one in many markets).

Infinity Broadcasting formally announced their plan, in the wake of Stern’s exit. It seemed like a disjointed effort at best, to keep the fanbase away from jumping ship to satellite, along with Stern. The biggest name out of the new deal: David Lee Roth.

David Lee Roth. Yeah, try saying that until the reality of that sets in. Mr. Shoobpy-do-bob-bob will be taking over the airwaves; for what will surely be four hours of bragging and babble. Also, Jimmy Kimmel’s main sidekick; Adam Corolla, will be taking over duties in various other cities. Seems pretty confusing, doesn’t it? Folks, that’s not the half of it.

Infinity’s plan still is not complete; with others still be interviewed for morning spots. But for Detroit fans; they are truly getting the D list of hosts to come to their market. Not that Roth or Corolla are blockbuster names; but at least other cities don’t get Penn Gillette.

That’s right- Penn from “Penn & Teller” will be the main syndicated morning host on 97.1 coming in January. Wow! Corey Feldman wasn’t available? What about Yakov Smirnoff? This is about as exciting as watching Joey Harrington play quarterback for the Lions. Wait, Joey would be way more exciting to watch. Also, a Cleveland based jock named Rover will fill up the rest of the four hour block.

That’s all we need: A little Buckeye magic thrown into our mornings. Sounds like a ratings bonanza!

Once again, the radio listeners of Detroit get screwe. Perhaps I can call up Penn Gillette, and tell him I was the guy to bump into him literally, at the AVN convention in Las Vegas a few years back. Or maybe, I can call Rover, and sing “Hail to the Victors” to him. But you can either jump ship with Stern, or listen to the other stellar choices from Motor City radio:

Well, we can listen to the reality show recap-fest of “Drew & Mike”, or perhaps listen the news; and become depressing at another death in Iraq; or Hurricane Beta coming towards Florida.

Lordy, am I glad I jumped ship already! Check out the Message Board. Tell me what YOU think.