This story requires a bit of a set up, so bear with me, please.

It was a day like any other day. After my morning exercise and Greet the Day regimen, I hit the road for a series of meetings and errands – An appointment with a township official, a trip to Home Depot for water filters and a light for the pantry closet, dog food at Meijers, etc. I returned home for a wrestling match with SBC that ended in an agreement that I’d wait the rest of the day for a repairman. Time for the Pause That Refreshes – hop onto BattleNet and offload some excess energy into Diablo II.

For those who haven't participated, online gaming can be a great way to while away a few hours; building characters, exploring the online world and meeting some people who like to do the same. It's similar to fantasy football in a lot of ways. You build your team through experiences you have and choices you make – Do I want my Assassin strong or stealthy? Will I make a Bowazon or a Javazon? Do I hire an archer mercenary or a mix–it-up Barbarian? You can boost your skills and stats through things you acquire as well – weapons, clothing and items like charms, gems and jewels that have attributes.

So what does any of this have to do with getting violated? Well, I often go through a scene when the group is done, picking up weapons, clothing and items that others don’t want. Then, I’ll take them to town to sell to the local merchants. In other words, I scavenge, like I used to do as a kid, rummaging through the schoolyard for pop bottles to cash in at the neighborhood delicatessen.

While money isn’t a big deal in these games, it’s nice to have a little change in your pocket for those things that only money can buy. There’s only so much room in your Inventory, and I’m usually carrying a lot of crap to trade, which I use to boost my stats, and for trading with other players. I usually have to drop some items I’m carrying to examine other items I’ve discovered. I always send a message to all that I’m dropping some things I want to keep while I check out what they’ve decided they don’t want. Many players make a crack how they’re gonna lurk-and-snatch, but it’s all in good fun, as they move on to the next quest, leave the game or otherwise busy themselves away from what I’m doing.

Ah, but not Neffy. Neffy is a Sorceress, whose real identity I’ll never know. Neffy entered the game after we’d killed Diablo and was in another section of the game looking for stuff as well. This is not uncommon. There is a mode of gaming called Magic Finding where you are playing specifically to collect whatever magic items you can find rather than trying to gain experience by completing the various quests. What is uncommon is violating another players request to respect their stuff.

The nature of these games does not prevent anyone from picking anything up. While there are courtesies, there are no ways to enforce those courtesies. Neffy saw my stuff in the corner and went after it. She calmly sifted through all my stuff while my arms were virtually full, in spite of repeated pleas to leave it alone. Never saying a word, she took the best of what I’d been carrying and left the game.

I’m still surprised at my reaction to all this. I felt extremely vulnerable and helpless. I thought I’d done all I should do under the circumstances. I sat at the keyboard, dumbstruck that someone would behave in such a fashion. Was she deaf? Unable to read? Why was she ignoring me and taking my valuables? If I’d been quicker, I could have dumped what I was carrying, run over to that portion of the game and grabbed as much of my stuff as I could, but who knew? Who knew such a thing would happen? All my assumptions about human behavior were put in a blender and churned on High. In my gut and my head the word that came to mind was Rape.

But wait a minute … rape? It sounds more like theft, and a theft of imaginary goods at that. Aren’t you kinda going overboard there, old-timer? I don’t think so and neither did the LambdaMOO participants, who banned a character named Mr. Bungle from their world a dozen years ago in a well-reported example of this behavior in cyberspace. Googling “Mr. Bungle virtual rape” (without the quotes) will produce plenty of material. One such article is here. Reading some of the literature, you come to understand that while not a physical rape, what Mr. Bungle and Neffy did qualifies as an invasion and usurpation of another’s rights, and brother, that sure feels like you’re being raped.

So, you tell me: Was it rape? Based on information I’ve gleaned from what I’ve read, people I’ve talked with and, yes, seen on Law & Order: SVU, it certainly felt like it. Was there a physical component? No. Was it an “actual” cyber rape, like what Mr. Bungle perpetrated on LambdaMOO? No. But it shares many of the emotional components reported by rape victims. I felt violated, ignored and de-humanized. I was in a state of almost helpless rage for the better part of the day, and I still cringe a little thinking about it a week later. I don’t know how to talk about it, and I have a great deal of shame about being taken advantage of. But whenever I get ready to accept it was my own damn fault, I have to stop and tell my self it wasn’t. My crimes were naivety and ignorance, for which I’ll accept responsibility. Neffy’s crime was something else.

I will never be so trusting on BattleNet again, and that saddens me greatly. It’s made me a more cautious person while interacting with others, which also saddens me. I’ve never considered quitting playing, which is a good thing. Instead, I now set up Magic Find games for only one player, and clear out my inventory (usually by selling stuff I’d really like to keep) when I join a game in progress, in case I find something I want to examine.

I’ve learned a lesson I didn’t want to learn, but now that I have, I won’t forget it. Maybe you’ve had something similar happen to you, on line or off that you’d like to talk about. Post a message on the message board to discuss with everyone or drop me a line at mmtym@detroitbuzz.com if you want to keep it on the QT. All responses welcome.

Until next week, heed our Weekly Words of Wisdom:

The only means of strengthening one’s intellect is to make up one’s mind about nothing – to let the mind be a thoroughfare for all thoughts.

- John Keats