The horror!! The horror!!

Last month I reviewed The Skeleton Key. I was mildly stoked that in addition to that film, three other horror/suspense/sci-fi pics were on the way: Red Eye, The Brothers Grimm and The Cave.

After seeing The Skeleton Key. , I was very disappointed and all my hopes for the other films disappeared. I did not see any of them.

My reasons are many.

First, I am burnt out on having high expectations for a film, only to have that film not even come close to meeting them. I suppose I could just expect less, but then why bother to go see a film in the theater?

Second, nothing about any of the films struck me as great. Red Eye isn’t even a horror film, although Wes Craven directed. I do enjoy when a director attempts to go outside his proven genre, but Red Eye, turned me off as the suspense comes from the threat of terrorism. Haven’t we had enough of that scare tactic already?

The Brothers Grimm didn’t appeal to me with Matt Damon and Heath Ledger as leads. They just didn’t seem to fit the roles to me.

The Cave – a Sci-Fi channel original could suck less. The previews clearly displayed crappy acting and cheesy special effects. I’m sure it might become one of my favorite cult flicks, but I’ll see about that by renting it.

Both The Brothers Grimm and The Cave also were more sci-fi than horror. I’m a purist when it comes to my horror.

But my main beef with all these flicks is this: PG-13.

Every single film... PG-13.

Why? Because media and entertainment gets blamed for the increase in violence in society. It couldn’t be the poor economy or the over-medication of society in general, especially the youth. It couldn’t be that no one has time to do anything except work and so we’re unable to have truly sufficient time to bond on any human level. Nope. It’s the media, our only viable outlet for expression of thoughts and feelings.

What’s worse is what warrants an R rating these days isn’t violence. It’s sex. There are only four movies currently out in most theaters that have an R rating: The Constant Gardener, Four Brothers, Wedding Crashers and The 40-year Old Virgin. The latter two movies are rampant with sex jokes and a few displays of sex, but no violence except for the occasional fall or punch. The former two films probably got the R rating as one is set in Africa, the other in Detroit – both areas densely populated with blacks and you know blacks are more violent than the average person (just to be clear, I’m being sarcastic here).

So, violence is okay, unless there are black people involved, and sex is bad.

Hmm. Interesting message. Let’s go back to the horror.

In the next month, four other horror films are being released: The Exorcism of Emily Rose, Cry Wolf, Venom and Hellbent – five if you count Tim Burton’s Corpse Bride. The ratings of each film are PG-13, PG-13, R, unrated and PG, respectively.

I actually plan to see each of these since they are more pure horror, rather than suspense or sci-fi. Also, Exorcism claims to be like “nothing [I’ve] ever imagined”. What – like the Exorcist? Cry Wolf has Jon Bon Jovi as fourth billing. As a sucker for hair bands, I’m all over this. Venom – R rating. Hellbent is about five gay guys trying to survive a serial killer. I imagine the gay aspect warranted the unrated label – very taboo subject still. It’s being touted as the first gay horror film. I’m curious to see if the same rules of “straight” horror flicks apply and I’m all about history in the making, especially when it deals with forbidden fruit – pun intended. And finally, Corpse Bride: Tim Burton, Johnny Depp and stop-motion animation topped off with morbid subject matter. What more could a girl ask for?

Hopefully at least one of these films will be good, if not great. At least there aren’t any Japanese remakes this year. And the lack of top box office actors – aside from Mr. Bon Jovi and Depp, of course – is promising.

Viva la Horror!

Taryn Shick can be reached at tas75@comcast.net. Keep checking back here for her news and views on society and film.