Pam & Tommy Back Together: You’ve gotta be kidding me…. After a sex tape where the “f’ word was used profusely to proclaim one’s love to another; domestic violence, and Tommy Lee’s DJ career, you mean to tell me these two are acting like it’s 1995 all over again? How ironic that the two of them are back together: It makes for great press for his reality show, starting in mid-August, “Tommy Lee Goes To College”. It might be as interesting of a train wreck as…

"Being Bobby Brown”: Here’s another couple that deserves each other. Whitney Houston and Bobby Brown. Watch as Whitney tells people to get away from her, wanting an autograph… Watch as Bobby and Whitney dance in a store to buy a new watch… Watch as Bobby drinks beer at 8 A.M., like it is a cure for cancer. Obviously, rehab doesn’t work for these two. At least they didn’t lie on the grand jury like…

Lil’ Kim: Who is going to jail for a year for perjury. When you lie to a federal court, no amount of money can save your behind. Unless you’re Enron… Sorry Kim, you do have to wear ALL your clothes in jail. Now, she put out a song called “Shut Up B---h”, where she attacks the media for her downfall. Now, I wished she’d shut up… Another person I wish would shut up is…

Andy Milonakis: What in the hell is a show like this doing the air? His MTV show is possibly the most vile thing I have ever watched. If you have watched 30 seconds of this abysmal show, you will know what I am talking about. No amount of drugs or alcohol will make this show any better. At first, I thought it was trying to be like the old short-lived MTV show “Squirt TV”. Remember that annoying 15-year-old kid that thought he had the next “Wayne’s World”, and thought he was this cool little indie hipster who dug Guided By Voices and Luscious Jackson? Remember any of them? Didn’t think so… Instead, I get some kid (or 27 year old, depending on which rumor you hear) having a friend rip a Gameboy out of a cake, or rapping about a city bus. Hopefully, Milonakis will meet the same fate as “Squirt TV”. This is biggest MTV’s biggest screw up since…

Live 8: Ok, MTV made up with the broadcasts in their entirety the next week. But it’s initial July 2 broadcast left me believing the following things:

• If I snapped my fingers every three seconds, I could solve world hunger.
• Pink Floyd’s first performance with Roger Waters in 25 years is not as important as commercials, or Sway Calloway’s stunning insight on Live 8.
• Does U2 even exist? I don’t think I saw one of their songs broadcasted… For one of the biggest bands of all time, MTV left them under the radar that day.
• Bob Geldof is so bad looking; it looks like he already has one foot in the grave.

Speaking of having a foot in the grave…

Birthdays: I celebrated a birthday a few weeks ago. Why do we ever celebrate birthdays after the age of 25? I’m just saying I’m 21 for the rest of my life. It might save my sanity.

So, I am sure August will bring more crazy hijinks and plenty of more things to talk about. I mean, I just heard Puff Daddy is hosting the MTV Awards. And just when you thought last year’s was the worst excuse for an awards show ever…

Enjoy the heat, and I hope it felt it felt lonely without me. But let’s face it, you’re probably doing just fine….

No, we're NOT fine without you Art... You're the highlight of our day! Art can be reached at arthatesyou@detroitbuzz.com.