Genre: Documentary

Title: Forbidden Wedding

Directed by: Flavia Fontes

Hedir and Mara live in Brazil. Hedir is a paraplegic. Mara is his nurse. Hedir has been paraplegic since his teen years when a dispute ended in his being shot and his spinal nerves severed.

Hedir has had many girlfriends but never felt any of them truly loved him. He felt they were all ashamed of him deep down. But not Mara.

Mara was married and has two young children. She is widowed. Hedir is a great friend, companion and lover.

Hedir and Mara feel very fortunate to have found each other. They get engaged, plan the wedding and all seems to be great.

Then, they get a letter from the church. They are informed that they cannot be married in the Catholic Church due to Vatican Law 1084 which prohibits marriage if the groom is impotent.

What kind of law is this? What possible logic could this serve? And if the groom was not paraplegic, would they know? What about elderly couples who get married? Do they check for a prescription of Viagra?

As I understand it, the Catholic Church preaches against pre-marital sex, to only have sex for pro-creation and vehemently condemns sex between same-gender partners. But, if you are going to be married, you must be able to have sex? Gee, another wonderful contradiction within the Catholic Church. What a shock.

The institution of marriage, specifically its purpose, is constantly under debate. Some would say it is an archaic institution that is no longer necessary other than for legal reasons. Others see it as only necessary for rearing children. And a few hopeless romantics still view marriage as a symbol of two people committed to loving each other for better or worse, and all of that hoopla.

I think that marriage can serve all of these purposes and it depends on each individual what that purpose is. The trick is to find another person who sees it in the same way that you do.

But back to the Catholic Church. Doesn’t it seem that the values of the church would support the union of a couple who want to express their commitment to love each other, regardless of anything else?

With gay marriage such a hot topic these days, I find this documentary extremely timely. What is the purpose of marriage? Why can’t it be between any two consenting parties? Or more?

And please don’t lay down the ol’ bestiality argument. You know, ‘if we let the gays marry, what’s to stop people from marrying a goat or a cow?’ How does one make that leap in logic?

And I say, if you can show that the goat is consenting and loves the human who wishes to marry him or her, what’s the problem?

Some laws are useful. But those that are help to keep order and are based in logic, like using your turn signal or not killing people. Using your turn signal can prevent an accident. Not killing someone means someone lives. Well, it does! My point is these laws aim to prevent harm to others.

Who is being harmed without Vatican Law 1084 in place? People who are afraid to think for themselves and to judge people individually. I think Karl Marx said it best: “Religion dulls the ability to deal with everyday problems.”

We all need to have faith in something to give us hope and to keep us from going completely insane. But I will never have faith in an institution that fosters so much ignorance and narrow-mindedness. I am referring to the church, not marriage, at least in this instance.

But that’s just me. If what I’ve said has bothered you, ask yourself why. Then watch Forbidden Wedding and see if you get the same answer after.

Taryn can be reached at tas75@comcast.net .