Ooh, it’s even painful to be writing the review. I’m going to have to make this brief.

The Ring Two sucked! I don’t want to say anything more than that, but I’ll back that statement up just a bit.

The plot was ridiculous, the characters were annoying and the parts that were supposed to be scary were so dumb they were funny. The highlight of the film (besides the end credits!) was this woman sitting in front of me who would scream out loud every time there was any moment that was even slightly startling.

Granted, in a sequel, you have to stick with some of the original story line. But, it should bring something new to it. That did not happen here. Let me elaborate.

Ring One: Horses are spooked and commit suicide.
Ring Two: Deer are spooked and attack.

Ring One: Rachel (Watts) goes to the house of Samara’s (Stables) parents, then a mental institution, looking for answers.
Ring Two: Rachel goes to the house of Samara’s parents, then a mental institution, looking for answers.

Ring One: Rachel’s love interest dies.
Ring Two: Rachel’s love interest dies.

Hope I didn’t ruin anything for you there. I could go on and on with these, but I think you get the point.

I was so aggravated with Rachel and Aidan (who I swear was intermittently being called Hayden by Watts), I wished Samara would just kill them already and end this horrible movie.

Aidan was aggravating, since he only called his Mom by her name, Rachel. This actually turned out to be useful, but it was too late – I didn’t care! The kid has no personality. Why do I care if he lives or dies? He acts dead already!

Rachel has some serious listening defects. Aidan tells her not to stop the car when the deer begin to attack. But what does she do? She stops! And then they attack and she says, “You said don’t stop.” I guess that was supposed to be dramatic? Agh!

Then, he says, “She can’t hear us when we sleep.” I’m hoping they at least rip off Nightmare on Elm Street 3 at this point and Aidan pulls Rachel into his dreams. Nope. Not only does Rachel keep Aidan awake, she puts him in water! And he’s fighting her and she’s completely oblivious to his fear, like she has no idea why he’s so afraid of water. Gee, maybe it’s because a big parade of water precedes each death?

I walked out of the theater, shaking my fists at the credits. I curse all responsible for this atrocity. Not even a cameo from Sissy Spacek could save it. And this from the man who wrote Scream 3 and shares his last name with a horror movie icon.

Ooh, I can’t go on. I’ve said enough. Let me sum up by giving a shout out to Hollywood. Thanks again, Hollywood, for yet another crappy sequel. Keep them coming; the sequels, the remakes, the adaptations. Please don’t put out anything original.

One of these days, I’m actually going to stop giving my money to them.

Grade: F

Taryn can be reached at tas75@comcast.net .

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