Ah well, it happens. Turns out Bun E. Carlos was too busy. He and his wife are property owners with too many outside commitments to appropriately focus any remaining energies on drumming for my band. This is how it goes when you’re trying to get middle-aged men back in the saddle. The voice of reason creeps in…

“You can’t do that, you’ll look ridiculous. What are you stupid? Everyone’s gonna laugh at you. And what about your rash? You know the doctor told you you’re not supposed to get yourself over-excited. And what happens if your Boss finds out? Playing in a Rock and Roll band, what is this, some sad grasp at the fountain of youth? You’re not young, you’re an adult, it’s not respectable to be young, you have a money market account...”

(sigh)

Guess it beats the younger version that I remember all too well, picture a bunch of teenage skinny stoners in Ozzy tee shirts at Friday night band practice…

“Let’s smoke a bowl. Man YOU smoke a bowl, you’re always bogartin’ my sh*t. Dude I ALWAYSsmoke you out, what are you talkin’ about? Man you’re high. YOU’RE high. Stupid. YOU’RE stupid. At least I can play “Crazy Train.” Dude, I CAN play “Crazy Train,” I played it at your sister’s party and she said I ruled. Well if you had your stupid amp turned down then I could play my solo… (silence) …Lets get a keg.

Since then we tried out another guy on drums, Jay from somewhere way out by Pine Knob. Can’t believe he was willing to make the drive every week. Jay was cool too. Liked his look (must be the Los Angeleno in me), head shaved down to the skin, goatee, shiny black shoes that you’d wear if you were a “Made Man.” Saw the shoes, figured we had our ringer.

But he failed test #1: He sat down on the drum kit and removed a few toms, now the kit was much smaller, less drums to beat with sticks. Now in all fairness, it could be that he’s a monster on a mini-kit, I’ve seen it before you know, Ginger Baker was that way.

We played him a few songs off the CD, which he seemed to dig. Cool. All there is left to do is click in, start playin’.

It fell apart right away. Not his fault, happens when you’re learning new songs. We hit it again. Lasted a little longer before it fell apart. We hit it again. We are now in the ditch digging phase of playing in a band, making something ugly into something purdy. Ain’t no way around it, all bands know this, and sometimes we call it making magic, and other times we call it turd polishing, just sort of depends on where the vibe is that day.

See, in a rock band everyone is in his own world, and it’s when you combine those worlds that you get a song (hopefully) out of it. For example:

You start with your drummer and your bass player trying to find a common language between them. Ultimately, it’s the drummer who makes or breaks the songs, because if it’s played too fast – you now sound too urgent, and rushed, and it verges on falling apart. If it’s played too slow, you feel like an actor asking his director “What’s my motivation for this part?”

But just getting the timing right isn’t enough.
Let’s say your drummer’s right on the money.

Boom chaka Boom chaka Rocka Chicka Boom. Sounds good.

The Bass player will lock into that groove with the drummer and offer up his own:

Ba Ba, Ba Boooom bamp, ba-ba-ba-ba Boom Bamp. Get it? Ok that’s the bottom end.

Now the front end comes in, the singer and the guitar player. It’s our job to take what we affectionately call melody and weave it between what’s going on the bottom. Only we have some ego, so it’s got to sound badass. So the guitar player starts rippin’, and the singer waits to make his move, a counter to the guitar, and we start pushing each other and building it up layer upon layer until it needs to break – and usually that means that there’s your chorus, the part of the song that you cant get out of your head.

Seems simple enough, only it ain’t.

Here’s why; even though I love listening to guitar players, in a band format it’s the drummer I listen to the most. The drummer’s energy dictates to me how I’m going to face the crowd and deliver my lyrics. Or – if it’s an intricate song with some complex timing changes, it’s the drummer who “taps me in,” or gives me a cue with some sort of off-beat that it’s time to step in and do my thing. This is especially important when playing out live – because sometimes a song will get extended during some phase of inspiration that causes someone to expand on the norm. It’s awesome when it happens, and it’s tragic when it happens wrong. If we go off on an extended jam – more often than not the drummer brings me back in, or sometimes I’ll clue him that it’s time for a change from my vocal. It’s an unsaid thing – but between us we always know it.

There are also other relationships going on. Sometimes a singer and a guitar player will lock into the same groove before splitting off. Again, it’s ugly when it breaks off wrong, but it’s magic when it’s right. Often the guitar player is waiting for my instinct to take over – when he hears me he knows where he’s going to go next because he knows my style and predisposition in my lines, even if I’m free styling.

But if it’s not me he’s listening to – then it’s probably the Bass he’s leaning on. A cool Bass player holds the bottom with the drummer, but he also says his own thing – and more often than not makes the holes that the guitar player needs to do his thing with.

All of this stuff (and much more) is going on within the few minutes were working the song. And all of this stuff we’re searching for when we’re trying out a new drummer. If it’s clicking – it’s a natural thing, and it often has nothing to do with talent, it just has to do with chemistry.

It didn’t click with Jay, so we wished him well and are moving on with the drummer search to this Friday night with the next “potential.” I shoulda asked him where he got his shoes though, now that he’s out of my life. Ah well.

Did I mention we’ve got a band website? Believe it or not I’ve never had one before, so I’m having fun with it. JR and I are trying to balance appropriate levels of hype against inappropriate levels of cheese as we build it a page at a time. Here, go check it out: www.UzedCarzmusic.com

I’m sure it will change about 100 times before it’s done; so don’t judge me too harshly. By the way, check out Mr. Steve-O’s lovely long locks in the photo’s section. No of course I don’t look like that anymore, I just did that for fun.

Peace Out,
Steve-O