The first two of the Five Topics of Conversation That Guys Talk About to Make Themselves Sound Cool in a Bar were:

• I Remember This One Time (How much they can drink in one night!)
• I Can Get Any Chick I Want (Their past sexual conquests!)

Now onto the third topic which is pretty obvious and most of you could have probably guessed this one; How much money they make or have.

I like to think of this on as the “I’m Mr. Big Stuff, check out my wad of cash” topic. Most often, when this topic is presented, it starts off with the statements, “I don’t mean to brag” or “I don’t like to talk about it, but…” It is similar to the “Mine is bigger than yours” penis size conversation that guys seem to always get into. The Bigger the Better, right? Guys use the money topic to perk up a female’s so-called inherent materialistic needs. Not that all women are materialistic, but that is what “Mr. Big Stuff” is counting on! And I will have to give some guys credit; this one actually works on occasion. It’s all about presentation. Most of the time, however, the guy gets to buy a couple of drinks for the girls and then they get blown off. Serves them right!

As with most of these topics, the guy will come off being over-confident. Here’s the story:

I actually wasn’t working at the time this story came about, but I was directly involved. I was sitting at a table near the bar, having some drinks with a couple of my friends, who happened to be women. Well, the time came when we needed the next round and the server was nowhere to be found, so one of the girls (we’ll call her Monica) goes up to the bar to order the next round of drinks. Meanwhile, there are four guys standing at the bar having some drinks. It’s a Monday, but these guys are dressed like it is New Years Eve! Monica orders 3 drinks from the bartender and one of the guys perks up and says, “Let me get those for ya babe,” and pulls out his entire bank roll. He then opens it up, licks his thumb, and shifts through all of his crisp $100 bills. Then after about ten bills he finds the Benjamin that looks the best. An obvious, yet subtle way of saying, “Boy, I’ve got a lot of money!”

“So, who are you here with tonight, sweetheart?” he asks.
“Just here with some friends,” Monica replies.
“Do you and your friends want to hang out tonight? We’re going to some party later and it’s VIP only,” he says.
“You guys must do pretty well for yourselves?” she asks with a bit of sarcasm.

Okay here it comes…

“I don’t mean to brag, but yeah we do! And let me tell you, we could show you and your friends a real good time!” he says while showing her his wad of cash.
Now, I’m sitting only a few steps away listening to this conversation, thinking to myself, “did he just offer her money to go out with him?” Now that’s got class written all over it!
He continues, “I could buy you whatever you want. Take you anywhere you want to go. By the way, I have my own private jet.”
At this point, I actually thought I heard the song “Mr. Big Stuff” start playing on the jukebox!
Monica looks at him and says, “No thanks, I like to buy my own stuff,” then smiles and says, “but thanks for the drinks!” She walks back to our table sits down and says, “Can you believe that guy tried to buy me?”

Yep, I sure can!

The moral of this story is this; nowadays, women are more independent and like to do things for themselves. They still would like a man to buy them things, take them out to nice places, but don’t go over-board when you’ve just met them. It only shows them that you are an arrogant idiot who’s trying to show off.

On a side note; what’s funnier is when the girl falls for the scam and is actually impressed. Usually, it’s a teenager with a fake ID, who doesn’t know better. I know it’s rare, but some women are blinded by material things!

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Typically, Reno the bartender listens to all the stories, problems, and drink orders of the people that sit in front of him. At Detroit Buzz, Reno speaks, giving advice and recounting his best stories from years of experience behind the bar. If you’ve got a question for him send it to askreno@detroitbuzz.com.

Coming soon… The Fourth Topic of Conversation That Guys Talk About to Make Themselves Sound Cool in a Bar… I promise!!