Baseball: I know the Tigers are all the rage here in Detroit these days, but baseball is a horribly boring sport to watch on television. Going to a game is one thing and can be exciting, but watching baseball on television makes you realize why baseball took such a dump in popularity in the mid-90s (that strike didn’t help matters either). And can we cut this 162 game season down by about 20-30 games as well? No one wants to watch this when football starts back up.

Arena Football: Yes, it does have football in the title, but its far from the product we see in the fall. The only way that the AFL can promote the league in its 21^st season is to tout the owners of the team (ex: John Elway- Colorado Crush; Jerry Jones- Dallas Desperados). It is action packed, but when the most recognizable players are ones that you remember not cutting it in the NFL, you start thinking about the XFL. The memories of the opening ball run-off sends shivers down my spine. And to Jon Bon Jovi; your theme song for the AFL sucks, and no, I am not buying Lost Highway. Never.

NFL Europa World Bowl: Do you realize that NFL Europe was around 16 years? Neither did I, or 99 percent of the people out there. But the league eventually dwindled down to 6 teams, with 5 of them being in Germany. The Germans must love us because within a 20-year span, we’ve successfully exported third-rate football and David Hasselhoff. I don’t blame the Germans if they close off the borders after this. And by the way, the World Bowl made Arena Football look captivating. And right after this was written, this will be the last NFL Europa game I ever watch. Not because I hate the league so much, but because the NFL decided to pull the plug on the league after 16 seasons. It came in with a whimper, left with that same whimper, probably 10 years too late.

Poker: I said it a million times, watching poker on television is like paying for bottled water when you have tap water. Completely unnecessary and annoying.

Which brings me to the WWE, my last chance for summer sports/entertainment bliss. Back in college, I could watch 10-12 hours of wrestling a week, and not think it was enough. I didn’t miss a WWE pay-per-view for 3 years. But now, with major stars gone and new ones far from capturing the fan’s hearts to that same level, the WWE is not the same. I cannot watch the big Monday Night Raw show for more than 20 minutes at a time before turning the channel. Vince McMahon even had to fake his own death, in order to get a ratings spike. McMahon wisely dropped that angle due to the Chris Benoit murder-suicide tragedy. I always relied on the WWE as my dorky backup summer viewing plan, and that has now failed me as well.

I realize that I am just completely screwed until at least the beginning of August; where I can watch the NFL Europe guys come over and slap on a real NFL uniform in the preseason. Who am I kidding; I’ll wait until September until the real thing shows up. God, can I wait that long?